Author Comment
MickeyTGardener 
PANTSMASTER!
Posts: 466
(3/22/04 10:08 pm)

 3071: (EM, Tork, and Mickey are back at HQ)
Evil Mike: It's all your fault, you know. All those ugly ass scars on your face scared the chicks off

Mickey: I was set on fire!

Evil Mike: Well it's still your fault

Tork: So are we gonna do this again tomorrow night?

Mickey: Sure, why not? It's not my balls on the line, so to speak

Evil Mike: No, no, no! I'm never hamging out with you losers ever again! (Knocks on Lita's door and tries to open it, it's locked, so EM heads into another room)

Tork: Uh....EM....that's my room

Evil Mike: I need my beautysleep! I ain't sleeping on the floor! (Slams the door in Tork's face)

Tork: I hope he realizes the lights burnt out

(In Tork's room, EM trips over a raft oddly shaped like a car hawking chantreuse) EM: The hell?

Tork: Now where will I sleep? I got it! (Runs into Mickey's room, slams the door and locks it)

Mickey: Joke's on him, I don't even have a bed

(In Mickey's room) Tork: I....HATE....FUTONS!!!!!!!!

Mickey: Now where am I going to sleep? I'll go see if Tucker's Brother is awake so I can kick him out of his roo...

42: It's called the couch, moron....(Goes into her room)

Mickey: Oh yeah....hey, how many rooms are there in this place anyway? (Walks all around HQ) That many...wow...(Opens a random door and sees all kinds of sciency electronic stuff) NICK?????

Nick: GAH!!!!!

Mickey: Hey, look at all these monitors letting you see into all the rooms....Oh Tork, USE A COASTER!!!!!!!!!! USE A COASTER!!!! Oh, now that's gonna leave such a ring....So PM had you do all this, huh?

Nick: Eeeeer yeah.....PM.

Mickey: You sicko!

Nick: Don't tell the boss how I live!

Mickey: .......

Nick: I mean some of it's for PM, but you know, I like to look at Lita (Mickey kicks Nick's chair out from under him) OW!!!!

Mickey: (Picks Nick up by the colar) ALRIGHT, DIRTBAG, SPILL IT!!!!

Nick: The Evil Monkey's eyes....are cameras *sniff* We bought one for every room

Mickey: I thought my room was buzzing and playing cymbals a lot more lately....(Drops Nick)

Nick: And now that you know my...er, the bosses evil plan, it's time for Operation: SPANKTHE MONKEY!!!! Mwa ha ha...um you know, now that I've said it out loud, I realize why the boss started laughing so much at the meeting.

Mickey: Um.....yeah

(Nick presses a button)

Mickey: That's it? (The Evil Toy Monkey next to Mickey explodes) Ow!!! For crying out loud, I just got set on fire two days ago! (Puts the fire out)

Nick: Each of the monkeys are set to explode at random times in the next 24 hours.

Mickey: Ooooh, big deal. Minor inconvenience fires pop up in the Headquarters.

Nick: That monkey only had a tiny amount of explosives. The rest of them have enough to blow this palacial estate sky high!!!!

Mickey: DOH!!! Should've saw that one coming....

Nick: Oh, and one more thing (Kicks Mickey in the crotch) Bye! (Runs away)

Mickey: Oooooh.........


MickeyTGardener
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
Check it out....the board is ticklish /a tickles the board :lol


GREEN LIGHT

Mickey T. Gardener
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
RABBIT TROOP SUCKS!

Author Comment
MickeyTGardener 
PANTSMASTER!
Posts: 475
(3/24/04 7:10 pm)

 3072: (Mickey's running like mad around the halls)
Tork (From behind the door): You aren't getting your room back!!! (Bangs his foot on a bowling ball with a cork in one of the holes) Owwww!!!! So Mickey's the infamous "Soup Baron"!!!! I should've known all alon...Awwww, look at the monkey!!!!

(Back in the halls)

Mickey (In a strangely falsetto voice): Monkeys!!!! We're all gonna die!!!!!

(In Lita42's room, 42 is on the phone with 6969)

6969: What's all that noise?

42: Mickey's playing Outbreak again.....that's a very nice Dustin Hoffman impression, Mickey!

(Back in the halls again)

Mickey: Hmph! No one's listening to me! Fine! Be that way! I'm not the one who's gonna die! (Sticks his tongue out...as he leaves, a mysterious, shadowy
figure enters) GAH!!!!!! ....Waldo?????? I thought you were dead?

Waldo: Yeah, just turns out I was really si....

Mickey: That's great, I hope you're not offended by this, but (Punches Waldo and runs screaming out of HQ)

Waldo: Jerk (Goes back to wherever he came from)

(Meanwhile......)

PM: (Watching the madness unfold): DAMN IT!!!! They're all gonna die!!!

Nick: Um....yay???

PM: Nick....come here.

(Nick stands next to PM, and PM flicks his ear)

Nick: OWWW!!!! What was that for?

PM: As I've said many times before, I don't want them to die! I just want to blowed up their new place real good...

Nick: Why don't you just hire wurwolf? She's much better at this than y....(PM flicks his ear again) OWWWW!!!!! You are one messed up super villian.

PM: Look, before GROPE all I had was my macrame! I don't want to go back to that. Deactivate the monkeys!!

Nick ("Accidentally" breaking the monkey deactivation knob) Oopsie!!!

PM: Oh fu....crying out loud. Damn Text Editor.....Why'd I even invent this thing?

(15 minutes later)

Mel Gibson: (Bursts into the doors of GROPE HQ) PERFECT!!!! This is the perfect place to film my new movie!! Jesus wakes up in a post apocolyptic society and teams up with a token black guy and that midget from Home Alone on the run from Tina Turner!!!

(Everyone runs from their room screaming)

Mel: Good (Takes off his holographic image enducer) PM: I sure will miss having that ass though....

Nabut: Can we just do this?

PM: You are such a bi....g meanie.....(Jumps up and down on the text editor smashing it)

(Buffalo, Rick, Nabut, Sam, and Linky start searching like crazy and throwing all the monkeys in a burlap sack)

Nick: What do I do?

PM: Guard the sack

MickeyTGardener
President of the I Hate Dawn Club
President of the John Lee Supertaster Fan Club
This reply was written without the aid of RP Enhancing Steroids


Green Light

Edited by: MickeyTGardener  at: 3/24/04 7:13 pm
Author Comment
Carmelita9000
Posts: 176
(3/26/04 12:19 am)

 3073: EM: What a pain in the ass that is!
Lita: Shut up. I'm still mad at you.

Rimmi: So now what do we do?

Tork: I guess we just hang out over here until Mr. Gibson is done making his nice movie and then ask if we can move back in.

42: I hate everything about that idea.

Tork: Only because it's mine.

Pooduck: Barquack!

Lita: Clearly we have only one option.

Rimmi: And that is?

Lita: The only thing left for us to do is to go back in there and *kill Mel Gibson!!*

<This revelation is met with several seconds of silence>

Tork: <carefully> I'm not sure that's actually the best thing we could do right now...

Lita: Oh really? What's your problem with my idea?

Rimmi: Oh, I don't know. He probably just objects to the fact that it's TOTALLY COMPLETELY INSANE!!! GET SOME THERAPY, YOU IDIOT!!

<This too is met with a huge wall of incredibly uncomfortable silence.>

Rimmi: <realizing she may have overreacted just a smidge> I may be a little upset over being thrown out of our hideout and everything. I'll just go stand over there now. <She stands several feet away from the group and takes deep cleansing breaths.>

42: Look. It's obvious what we need to do. Mel Gibson may have millions, but that doesn't mean he can just charge into our home and throw us out on a whim.

Tork: It doesn't?

42: No. If nothing else he should have to share a few of his millions with us. He can't just film in our hideout for free!

Lita: Hey! That's right! We can tell him to pay up and if he doesn't we can sue the bastard!

Tork: Can we do that? I mean, isn't he Australian?

42: Ah yes. I forgot. Australians are above the law.

Tork: I was afraid of that. It's too bad. I was hoping that plan would work.

Lita: Torky?

Tork: Yes?

Lita: Stop Talking.

Tork: Ok.

EM: Geez. At this rate nobody's gonna be allowed to talk.

Lita: Shh!

Rimmi: <rejoining the group> Look. It's clear what we have to do. So let's go in there and tell Mel to pony up some cash.

Lita: Big time.

<GROPE turns and runs back into Batwoman's Lair where they see PM and his crew.>

Lita: Hey! You're not Mel Gibson!

PM: I thought you'd be happier about that. I thought you weren't fond of him.

Rimmi: You're trying to burgle us!

PM: Am not!

<GROPE looks poinedly at Nick, who is scooping monkey toys into a large bag.>

PM: Oh, that. Well you see, the thing about that is that those monkeys look cute, but I wired them with explosives!

Lita: You're trying to kill us???

PM: No! Of course not! I was only trying to blow up your hideout!! But it got a little out of hand...

<PM too is hit with that rather loud silence that seems to be going around lately>

PM: Of course... I can see how you wouldn't be too excited to hear about that eith--

Rimmi: GET HIM!!!

<All of GROPE dogpile on PM>


Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Green light!

Author Comment
Tork110
Poin Protected
Posts: 87
(3/30/04 9:15 pm)

 3074: Tork: That's it, I'm done raking leaves.
<After PM and his henchmen escaped from GROPE.>

Lita: It doesn't look like you did much.

Tork: Do you know how many leaves I raked today?

Lita: What?

Tork: Five!

<Tork walks to the couch, sits down and starts playing a random video game.>

Lita: Tork...

Tork: Shh! The world blew up, and I have to defeat the dangerous clown. After this hot blonde feeds this old guy some fish, of course.

<Meanwhile...PM and Nick are walking back to MSTBlanca - for some reason - Nabut is elsewhere.>

Nick: Ow...

PM: Hey, I pushed you, you tripped them. And you got away with only a couple of bruises.

Nick: It wasn't like this back at Vermont. I used to have the respect of all the ladies.

PM: One middle aged woman from Martin's?

Nick: Hey, I was very popular there. I still am popular. People love me. Watch... Hello! What is up!?

Man: Your grandmama!

PM: Heh heh.

Nick: That's not funny! My grandmother died in a plane accident!

PM: No she didn't. You made that up.

Nick: Oh yeah.

<Nick sees a short person and tries again.>

Nick: Hello buddy! How about those Vermont Fighting Maple Trees!? Uh oh...

Paul: It's you!

<The short man with a mustache and a pink suit jumps on Nick's back and repeatedly hits him.>

Paul: IHATEYOU! IHATEYOU! IHATEYOU! I HATEYOU!

Nick: Help!

PM: *Sigh* GROPE is thinking of nasty things to do to me right now while I have this hilarious situation to deal with.

<Back at GROPE HQ Version 2...>

Tork: Maybe if I pause the game, the ultima spell won't kill my party.

Lita: Quit hogging the TV.

<Lita wrestles the game away from Tork, and puts on a game that she likes.>

Edited by: Tork110 at: 3/30/04 9:20 pm
Author Comment
Carmelita9000
Posts: 187
(4/3/04 11:00 pm)

 3075: Lita: o/` La la la la la... o/`
Lita: o/` Playing me a video game... o/`

Tork: Ok, Lita, you've been playing for a long time! Let me play!

Lita: I've been playing for 5 minutes.

Tork: Yeah, so let me play!

Lita: No.

Tork: Why can't we play a two-player game? You never let me play.

Lita: Go away. You're distracting me.

Tork: You can't play your precious game if I'm covering your eyes, huh? HUH?? OW!!

Lita: Next time you'll keep your clammy hands off my face.

Tork: Ooooo! You just got to a really hard boss battle! Want me to beat it for you?

Lita: I can beat it myself.

Tork: No you can't! But I can! Let me beat it for you!

Lita: Stop talking in my ear. I'm trying to concentrate.

Tork: Lita, I don't see why we can't both play. I bet I can totally beat you at Popular First Person Shooter! Oh. See? You're losing. I told you you should let me beat this boss for you. <Lita smacks Tork in the face with her controller> OW!! Hey! You beat the boss! How did you do that?

<The doorbell rings>

Lita: Get the door Tork.

Tork: I don't get the door for people who can't share their video games.

<Lita gives an exasperated sigh and pauses her game.>

Tork: I won't play your game while you're gone!

Lita: I know you won't. <She unplugs her controller and heads toward the door>

Tork: I can't believe you don't trust me! <He waits a few seconds> Heh heh... sucker... <He pulls a second controller out of his pocket and plugs it in> We won't be needing THIS anymore! <He takes the game out of the console, tosses it over his shoulder, and puts a game of his own choosing in.>

<Meanwhile, Lita opens the door. There's a friendly looking young man standing there.>

Lita: Hi.

FLYM: Hello, are you the lady of the house?

Lita: I guess.

FLYM: I'm selling this revolutionary new vacuum cleaning system. May I come in and give you a demonstration?

Lita: Well... I don't know...

FLYM: It will only take a few moments. I promise it'll be worth it.

<He gives Lita an ingratiating smile. Lita giggles nervously and then lets the friendly looking young man inside. He plugs in his vacuum cleaner.>

FLYM: When was the last time you vacuumed this floor?

Lita: It was vacuumed just yesterday, why?

FLYM: Let me show you something. <The friendly looking young man vacuums about a three foot square patch of carpet and then pulls the filter out of the vacuum cleaner> Look at all this dirt I got from your "freshly cleaned" floor!

Lita: Holy cow! That's... That's disgusting! TORK!!! YOU SAID YOU VACUUMED THE DAMN FLOOR, DAMMIT! GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND DO YOUR DAMN CHORES FOR ONCE!!

Tork's voice from the other room: I vacuumed!

Lita: DAMMIT TORK!! I WILL UNPLUG THAT DAMN GAME AND THROW IT IN THE DAMN POOL IF YOU DON'T DO YOUR DAMN CHORES!!!

FLYM: <Looking very uncomfortable> Er... It isn't your husband's fault though!

Lita: <quickly... a little too quickly> Oh, he's not my husband! I'm not married. <smile>

FLYM: Oh.. Er... Well what I mean is...

Lita: You said it's not his fault? Why, whatever do you mean?

FLYM: <relieved to get back to the more familiar territory of his pitch> The poin of that demonstration is that it's your old vacuum cleaner that's not good enough to get the deep ground in dirt... don't you see? <He chuckles nervously>

Lita: Really? Do go on.

FLYM: Um... I could vacuum the rest of this floor by way of demonstration.

Lita: In this house you can vacuum whatever you want.

<Lita grins and gives him a playful slap on the arm and the friendly looking young man isn't sure quite how to take that so he just keeps his head down and starts vaccuuming. Lita sits down on the couch to watch him go.>

Lita: *quietly to herself* He likes me. I can tell. He wouldn't vaccuum for me if he didn't have the biggest crush on me.


Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
doesn't even know what the hell the poin is of this reply
but it's not like much else is going on right now, right?
Take what you can get.
Green light

Edited by: Carmelita9000 at: 4/3/04 11:00 pm
Author Comment
Linky Dragonclaw 
Vampire Bait
Posts: 1
(4/4/04 1:23 am)
 3076: Linky: Oi, Mobius, I need to borrow your credit card
PM: Again? What for?

Linky: I need to get Niner back from the shop. Actually, I was supposed to pick him up two weeks ago, but they took him hostage when I offered to pay with Pringles.

PM: *unattending* Bastards.

Linky: I know! Anyway, so I need your Visa number and expiry date, and maybe your Amex and Master card ones, too, just to be sure. Servo did some pretty heavy damage, ya know.

PM: *rifling through some papers* Rick, when did this come in the mail?

Rick: Hm? Yesterday, boss.

Linky: What's wrong and why don't I have plastic in my hands?

(Linky snaps her fingers irritably)

Linky: Come on, Head Honcho! Chop chop! Your credit isn't going to spend itself, you know!

PM: *hands Linky the papers* Look at that! Look at how much the last repairs for the bar cost!

Linky: Well, you know, GROPE does tend to do as much damage as it can.

PM: I fail to see how a roll of toilet paper and a polaroid camera can do that much damage.

Linky: Clearly your imagination isn't nearly as vivid as mine. So are you gonna give me your credit cards or not?

PM: I can't afford to pay for Niner with a bill like this. It could destroy my credit.

Sam: That's totally unmellow. My lawyer wouldn't dig that.

PM: You have a lawyer?

Sam: Yeah. He's one groovy cat who helped me with my case against Stephen King. I rather not talk about it.

Linky: Polyester Boy has a poin. You should sue GROPE or something.

PM: Sue GROPE?

Linky: Yeah, for damage done to the bar. You could make yourself enough money to repair the bar, and - if you press for emotional damage - repair Niner AND buy me that Mail-order Hellboy.

PM: What was that last one?

Linky: Err, nothing. Besides, suing the good guys is pretty dastardly if you ask me.

PM: Hmmm... Sam, what's your lawyer's number?


~~

*crosses fingers and prays she didn't screw up any continuity*

-Linky the Back!

Rabid feline fangirl of DOOM!
"I don't like this cat, she can read minds!"

Author Comment
PharaohMobius 
Poin Protected
Posts: 30
(4/4/04 2:48 am)

 3077: Linky: Why aren't you suing GROPE yet??
Linky: And where's my mail-order Hellboy???

PM: Patience, my young, feline henchlady. I've set up an appoinment with Mr. Shyster for tomorrow afternoon, but we can't do anything else about it right now.

Linky: Oh, all right, I guess. So, what are you guys doing now?

Buffalo: Th' boss is tryin' tuh teach us tuh roll clay!

PM: No, you simpering hayseed! I told you I'm teaching you how to play a paper and dice roleplaying game.

<Sure enough, PM, Sam, Buffalo, and Nick are sitting around the table, with pieces of paper, cards, and dice in front of them. PM also has a big cardboard screen in front of him, with all sorts of charts and information printed on it.>

Sam: I knew some dudes who were way into this stuff back in Law school. It wasn't my bag, but I figure it can't hurt to try it out. <He grins one of his big old Ben Murphy grins.>

Nick: I used to play D&D all the time. When the boss brought this up, it sounded like it'd be kinda like old times!

Buffalo: Mah mamma told me thayit Dunjins an' Dragins was devil worshipin' stuff.

Nick: It is NOT! That is such a crock! Just because there's a little necromancy doesn't mean it's devil worship!

PM: Okay, guys, relax. We're not playing D&D anyway. We're playing my favorite RPG: GOST.

Buffalo: GHOST?!?!? Ah don't lahk spooks!

PM: No, GOST: the Generic Old School Tabletop-rpg. You want to play, Linky?

Linky: I don't know... don't mostly dorks play roleplaying games?

PM: I thought you liked geek culture?

Linky: Well, sure I do. But "geeks" are "cool in their nerdiness", while "dorks" are just... dorks.

PM: Come on, it'll be fun. You don't hang out with us guys much anyway.

Linky: You think that's an accident?

PM: Play the stupid game, or it's no Hellboy for you.

Linky: Yay! Let's play some GOST! <She sits down at the table.> Okay, how does this work?

PM: You decide what kind of character you want to play, and we'll work up some stats for it. I've got the character generation system on computer, so we can have you going in no time!

Linky: What kind of characters can we play?

PM: GOST is cross-genre, so you can play anything you can imagine. Nick is playing a netrunner from a cyberpunk world, Sam is playing a wizard from a fantasy world, and Buffalo is playing a cowboy from a western setting.

Linky: Then I want to play a thief! A halfling thief, if that's ok.

PM: Sure, why not? And just to give your group a bit of muscle, I'll play a martial arts fighter from the Hong Kong cinema world in addition to running the game. <He types some stuff into the computer, and in seconds a sheet prints out. He hands the sheet to Linky.> There. Ready to begin?

Linky: Sure, why not?

PM: Okay, so you've all been moved from your home dimensions to the Inter-Reality Conflict Resolution Center, per the histories that printed out on your character sheets. You have been recruited to help prevent the Chaos Masters from corrupting the worlds of the multiverse.

Buffalo: Umm... whut duz all *thayit* mean, anyhow?

PM: Don't worry, it's just an excuse to get all of these different kinds of characters together to kick ass.

Buffalo: Oh, all raht. :D

PM: So anyway, you're being sent to the reality of Tai'Chan, the reality of Asian mythology. You have to--

Nick: Do they have computers in Tai'Chan?

PM: No, it's at the tech level of medieval China.

Nick: What a ripoff! How am I supposed to do what I do best?

PM: That's the fun of cross-genre RPGs. They get you to think outside the box and come up with creative solutions to problems.

Nick: Well, does my submachine gun still work?

PM: Yes, it does. Now, you appear in Tai'Chan in a flash of light, thanks to the techno-magical teleporters that the IRCRC uses. You start walking toward the nearest village--

Buffalo: I wanna rahd mah horse there!

Sam: Yeah, Big Daddy. Shouldn't we get horses?

Nick: I want a motorcycle.

PM: <obviously aggravated> Do you want anything, Linky?

Linky: Hellboy. But other than him, no, I'm content walking. ^_^

PM: Okay. Well, you didn't bring any vehicles or steeds, so you have to walk. You don't like it, tough. Anyway, as you reach the top of the hill on your way toward the nearest village, a group of Oni attack you--

Buffalo: Huh? We cain't have horses, but you have a bunch o' ponies attack us??

PM: *Oni*. Oriental demon-goblins. They--

Linky: Demons. Mmmm.... Hellboy. ._.

PM: <getting quite agitated now> Yes. So, the Oni are attacking. What do you do?

Buffalo: Ah shoot 'em with mah six-shooter!

Nick: I rock-n-roll with automatic weapons fire! Yeehaw!

Linky: I sneak around and try to backstab one!

Sam: I wanna cast a spell at them. Can I cast any of these on my character sheet?

PM: Yeah, you can. Which one do you want to cast?

Sam: I like the looks of this "Summon Iffriit" spell.

PM: Okay, great guys! Sam, since that spell has a quick cast time, you get do do your action first. Roll that die there.

Sam: Okay! <He does so.> Ooh, a 20!

PM: That means you get to roll again!

Sam: Cool! <He rolls again.> A 10!

PM: You get roll agains on 10s and 20s. Keep rolling, Sam!

<Sam rolls again. And again. And AGAIN. By the time he's done...>

Sam: 94!

PM: Which gives you a bonus of... <he checks a chart.> 35 to your skill! You got a critical success on your Summon Iffrii--

<Suddenly, a swirling cloud appears over the table!>

Buffalo: Ack! Mamma was raht! <He runs away.>

Sam: What's happening, Big Daddy?

PM: I don't know! It looks like some kind of portal.

Nick: But what's causing it?

Linky: Umm... are you using those dice I gave you for Christmas?

PM: Yeah, why do you ask?

Linky: 'Cause I stole those. From a wizard.

PM: A *real* wizard?!?

Nick: Bah, impossible! There's no such thing!

Linky: Yeah, he was a real wizard. I'm sure he wasn't too happy that his dice got stolen, either. They're probably cursed, now that I think of it.

PM: Now you tell me. Thanks a whole bunch, Linky.

Sam: Uh, boss? Something's coming through...

<Suddenly, a humanoid figure pops out of the portal! He's red, with filed-down horns and a tail, and wearing a trenchcoat with a BPRD patch on the sleeve. He's pretty big, but looks to be in his late teens.>

Linky: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! <She pounces on the new arrival.>

Teen Hellboy: The hell?!?

TmPM
See? I told you you'd get your Hellboy, Linky! =)
Sarcophagus!


Edited by: PharaohMobius  at: 4/4/04 2:53 am
Author Comment
Rimmie Borden 
Posts: 69
(4/4/04 7:38 am)

 3078: Robo Pimp Daddy: You want my pickle?
Superstar Sparky: Cool! Thanks!

(The boys leave the deli they've been in for way too long with Giant Super Mega Huge subs, the most perfect bestest subs in all creation. They stop in front of MSTBlanca to eat them)

Robo Pimp Daddy: Hold up a parsec. Did you.... *sense* anything?

Superstar Sparky: (mouth full) Li' wha?

Robo Pimp Daddy: I don't know. Like someone is role playing and we weren't invited. Not that I'm a geek or anything but that's just rude.

Superstar Sparky: So? That's all you can think about when we have before us the most better-than-sex-even, mega sub sandwiches before us?

Robo Pimp Daddy: Hey! It's MSTBlanca behind us! Smoke is pouring out and there's a smell of fire and brimstone in the air. The sub can wait.

(Sneaks over to look in the windows)

Superstar Sparky: Blasphemer. These subs rock and you are NOT tearing me away-

Robo Pimp Daddy: It's Hellboy! That is SO cool!

Superstar Sparky: Hellboy? No way!

Robo Pimp Daddy: He's in there tearing a young cat person off of him. PhamshamohGaybarius is in there too. Somehow they have developed the technology to bring comic book characters to life.... before I did. Let's sneak in and see how they did it.

Superstar Sparky: (abandons sub) Yeah! We could bring a whole load of comic book characters to life. Hot chick comic book characters. Hot *naughty* chick comic book characters to life. (licks his lips) This is the action I signed on for. Let's do it.

(The geeks sneak in around back and somehow get in to the building the way geeks like them can get into places that might get them killed.)

Superstar Sparky: (hidden) Dude, it really is Hellboy. This is... this is.... this is........ better-than-sex.

Robo Pimp Daddy: Okay. I'm going in. (steps out in plain view) PM, one crimelord to another, I'm prepared to completely sell out GROPE if you share some of your technology with Superstar Sparky and I.

(Tag to anyone because I've written myself into writer's block oblivion.)

~Rimmi~
"America hates that."

Edited by: Rimmie Borden  at: 4/4/04 7:46 am
Author Comment
MickeyTGardener 
PANTSMASTER!
Posts: 499
(4/4/04 3:54 pm)

 3079: Robo Pimp Daddy: OK Mobius!
What can you show me in a 1994 model Vampirella?

PM: Could you geeks leave? We have a situation here....

Robo Pimp Daddy: I mean, I guess I could take a 1993 Lady Death if that's all you got....none of that blonde "she's alive now" crap

Superstar Sparky (Hiding under a table): If it's not any trouble, I could maybe if you don't mind please have a Betty or a Veronica? I don't like Bad Girls....they scare me....

Sam: What are you turkeys going on about????

Teen Hellboy: I'll field that question. (Stands behind a podium and sets up a microphone) See? (Feedback, Hellboy taps it a little, adjusts it) See, they think you've developed a technology to bring comic book characters to life.

PM: Hmmmm....that's not a bad idea actually. Nabut! Get working on that

Nabut: *sigh* Yeah....I really have nothing better to do than figure out.....

PM: Nick, get on that....Nick?

Buffalo: Nick took ahff ahn his bahke as soon as Beahzhulbuub showed up.

PM: Pansy....

Teen Hellboy: *A-HEM!!!!* May I continue (doesn't wait for an answer) good.....I was brought here with Sam's incredible role on those dice

Linky: Yeah, ok Mr. Exposition....(Jumps up into Hellboy's arms) Wow......you must work out....

Teen Hellboy: Well I had to explain it to our guests....now if you don't mind, I do have a girlfriend....

Linky: No, I don't mind

Robo Pimp Daddy: So......that's no on the Vampirella then....

Superstar Sparky: So, now what?

Robo Pimp Daddy: I don't know. Let's go find Rimmi again.

Superstar Sparky: ANd where Rimmi is, Tuckers Brother won't be far behind

Robo Pimp Daddy: Dumbass, once I get Rimmi, I don't give a rats ass where either of you two are.

Teen Hellboy: I'm sorry fellas, but now that you're here, I'm afraid I can't let you leave.

Robo Pimp Daddy: Wha? You let Nick leave!

Teen Hellboy: Meh. I get lazy sometimes. It's just I can't let anyone know I'm here. Now that I'm a big movie star everyone wants a piece of me. So as long as I'm here, no one leaves this room.

PM: Except Nick.

Teen Hellboy: Will you shutup about that????

Linky: So, no sueing GROPE? No fun with credit cards?

PM: *sigh* Here. Go nuts (/a hands Linky a ball of yarn)

MickeyTGardener
President of the IHDC
President of the JLSFC
Shnazzula!!!!


Green Light

Author Comment
Carmelita9000
Posts: 190
(4/5/04 1:38 am)

 3080: Robo Pimp Daddy: Ok, Pharaoh, spill it.
PM: What?? Are you two still here?

Superstar Sparky: Yes. Because that troll over there is on a big power trip and won't let us leave.

RPD: So you might as well tell us how you called him up so that we can call up a few of our own.

PM: It was already explained to you it was a fluke.

RPD: Yes. You *would* say that, wouldn't you?

PM: Yes. But I'm not even the one who said it. Ask Hellboy.

Teen Hellboy: I don't want to talk to you squares. You don't understand me! Just shut up and leave me alone. <He flops down in a nearby booth, pulls out a guitar magazine and starts flipping through it.>

SS: You just don't want to tell us because you want the technology to yourselves.

RPD: Aren't you even the least bit tempted by the promise of top secret information about your arch-nemeses?

PM: What information?

SS: Tell us the comic stuff first! Because we don't trust you!

PM: Yeah, ok. I'm gonna go organize my extensive paper trail that I always leave at every caper. Pulp Villain Union rules, you know. Tell Rick if you guys want something to drink or something. <He turns to leave>

RPD: No wait! Ok, we trust you.

SS: But you have to pinky swear to follow our deal.

PM: Oh, yeah. I totally pinky swear to do the stuff I agreed to do.

RPD: Good! Have a seat! Superstar Sparky? Do your thing.

<Superstar Sparky pulls down a screen from the ceiling and sets up a projector. He starts up a Power Poin presentation that he has prepared in advance just for the moment when he and Robo Pimp Daddy would betray GROPE. Robo Pimp Daddy stands to the side of the screen with a collapsible poiner which he uses to poin to important key elements throughout the presentation.>

RPD: Let us begin.

<The acronym GROPE zooms onto the screen from the side with loud engine noises. It makes a screeching noise as it comes to a halt.>

RPD: You are aware that your enemies call themselves GROPE. But have you ever put any thought into that title?

<Slowly more words fade into the picture, one at a time, hanging vertically from the word GROPE. Eventually GROPE is revealed to stand for...>

RPD: The Get Revenge On PM Elite!

SS: Squad.

RPD: So you can see that the entire poin of this group is to get revenge on PM! "But who is this mysterious 'PM'?" I can hear you ask! The answer?? Will amaze you!!! <The scene changes. A little cartoon guy skis into the corner of the blank field and and there is an applause sound effect. A tasteful black and white headshot of PM rotates into the screen.>

RPD: PHARAOH MOBIUS!!!

PM: <rubbing his forehead in exasperation> Jumping Judas on a trampoline...

RPD: Yes! Wet your pants in terror!

SS: You are right to be shocked.

RPD: So now you see that you have enemies! And the best way to defeat your enemy is to KNOW your enemy!

<The screen clears again. A picture of Rimmi appears to a wolf whistle sound effect. Either the boys cut and pasted her head onto somebody else's body or Rimmi's been having boudoir shots taken in her spare time.>

RPD: I give you, the leader of the The Get Revenge On PM Elite,

SS: --Squad--

RPD: Areola Judas Rimmer!!

SS: "Ass" to her friends!

PM: Her name is not "Areola".

SS: You don't know that!

PM: I'm fairly certain. I also happen to know that she hates being called "Ass."

RPD: Well of course she hates it when *you* call her ass! Because you're not her friend! We told you it was a *friend* name.

SS: Take that, Mr. SmartyPharaoh.

PM: Also, she's not really the *leader* of GROPE. They're pretty much led by whichever one of them is feeling bossy that day.

SS: Well she's very bossy.

PM: Look, I think I've seen enough. You guys obviously don't know anything I don't know already and what you do know is wildly inaccurate--

RPD: We're not done yet!

<The picture changes to a cute headshot of Rimmi smiling with little pink hearts all around it. There are loud smooching noises.>

SS: Um... Rimmi's kind of hot.

RPD: She's a femme fatale. Don't underestimate her dangerous ways! She'll try to seduce you and then stab you in the back when you least expect it! *pff* Women.

SS: Yeah that. Also, Robo Pimp Daddy's palms get sweaty whenever she tells him to do something.

RPD: Shut up!

<Superstar Sparky indulges in a loud nerd laugh and Robo Pimp Daddy smacks him over the head with his poiner, which breaks off.>

SS: Ow! You penis!

RPD: This concludes our presentation.

PM: That was entirely lame.

RPD: It doesn't matter. We've told you what we know and now you are bound by honor to give us your comic book bringing-to-life technology!

PM: I will do no such thing.

SS: But you have to! You pinky swore!

PM: I swore to do what I'd agreed to do. But as a matter of fact I didn't actually agree to do anything. I owe you nothing.

SS: Curses! He's got us there, Robo Pimp Daddy!

PM: Besides, I told you. I don't have any comic book bringing-to-life technology.

<Robo Pimp Daddy and Superstar Sparky look poinedly over at Teen Hellboy, who is irritably trying to act too cool for the room while he searches in vain for on PM's jukebox that speaks to his soul.>

Linky: <softly> *sigh* He's so deep. Oh, Hellboy, am I the one woman who can tame your wild spirit?

PM: Ok, I don't have any *reliable* comic book bringing-to-life technology. You two are out of luck.

RPD: <shakes his fist> You'll pay for this, Mobius!!


Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Seriously. My mom says that her sister was friends
With a girl whose middle name was "Areola"
Let this be a lesson.
Before you name your kid something because it sounds pretty,
Look it up.

Green Light!

Author Comment
Linky Dragonclaw 
Vampire Bait
Posts: 6
(4/5/04 2:25 am)
 3081: FLYM: So you see, Miss...
... you clearly need to buy the VacuuSuckMegaMaid3000And2WithAPenny.

Lita: Clearly! What was your name again...?

FLYM: The VacuuSuckMeg--

Lita: No, not the vacuum's name, silly!

(She gives him a tinkling laugh and waves her hand)

Lita: YOURS.

(FLYM looks a bit stunned for a moment, then blinks. He reaches into his coat-pocket and pulls out a business card then stares at it for several seconds. He grins, nods, replaces the business card, and looks at her)

FLYM: Lloyd, Miss.

(Lita sighs dreamily)

Lita: Lloyd! What a lovely name.

Lloyd: Err, thank you?

Lita: Oh, let's cut to the chase. I'm interested and I know you are, too.

Lloyd: Of course you are! Well, how many should I put you down for? 20? 30? 3002?

Lita: 20! That's moving a little fast, don't you think? Why don't we start off slow, maybe grab a cup of coffee, go see a movie...

(Lita is trying to explain the dating process to a very confused Lloyd, when Tork comes into the room looking mildly put out.)

Tork: That boss was really hard...

(He stops when he sees Lloyd, then looks down at the VacuuSuckMegaMaid3000and2andaPenny, then back at Lloyd)

Tork: YOU!

(Lloyd looks around nervously and then stares hungrily at the door, trying to decide if this is worth the sale. Tork poins dramatically at him.)

Tork: That vacuum cleaner is mine! I designed it and it was stolen from me, by my rival, Bolt!

(Cue flashback. Tork is in a generic school type setting and going over some blueprints in his hands. A kid dressed in a blue robot suit comes up and bumps into him, cackling.)

Tork: Grrr! Bolt! You're always so mean to me!

Bolt: Shut it, dork! Looks like you dropped some papers, there.

Tork: Give them back!

Bolt: Never!

(End flashback. Tork glares evilly at Lloyd.)

Tork: So, I suppose he sent you back here to rub it in my face, did he? Well, I'm part of bigger and better things, now! And to you I say good day!

(Tork turns and leaves the room.)

Lita: ... so, how about that coffee?

~~

(Meanwhile, back at MSTBlanca...)

PM: Rick, I need you to go distract Hellboy so I can get these two losers out of my bar.

(He looks over at RPD and SS poinedly and sighs painfully)

Rick: Sure thing, boss. But how do you want me to pull that off?

PM: He's a teenager. Give him some booze and set Linky on him.

Rick: I think Linky's already set...

(They look over at Hellboy who has found the Jukebox and is struggling to make it look like he's bored.)

Linky: Oh, Red! Let's get married!

Hellboy: I told you, I have a girlfriend.

(Linky jumps, excited, and turns to PM, poining at Hellboy)

Linky: Mobius! He just said I was his girlfriend!

Hellboy: I did not!

PM: ... anyway, you see my point. Just offer him a couple of beers while I sneak RPD and SS out the back.

(Rick heads over to the bar, gets a big mug and puts it under the tap. PM clears his throat then gestures at Hellboy. Rick looks, nods, then puts the mugs back and struggles with a giant keg. As he walks over to Hellboy, the Soon-to-be-Comic-Book-Hero smiles broadly and PM uses this opportunity to sneak RPD and SS out of MSTBlanca)

PM: And for the last time, don't come back!

(He slams the door behind him, and RPD and SS exchange glances)

SS: Well, that didn't work...

RPD: It wasn't a COMPLETE waste of time... I stole his role-playing dice!

SS: Score! We should play some D&D later.

RPD: Not now. You DO realize what this means, don't you?

SS: ... that he can't play his table-top RPG anymore unless he invites us?

RPD: No! Well, yes, but that's not all! We know that Pharaoh Mobius is trying to build an army of Super heroes to fight off GROPE. He must acknowledge them as a mega threat now with all that info we gave him. We should go try and deal this information to GROPE!


____________

Weeeeeeee.... & stuff.

Green Light to the max.

Rabid feline fangirl of DOOM!
"I don't like this cat, she can read minds!"

Author Comment
Carmelita9000
Posts: 198
(4/9/04 11:25 pm)

 3082: FLYM: I don't know...
Lita: Of course. You're right. I hate coffee anyway. So what do *you* want to do? <Lita bats her eyelashes>

FLYM: Well... I'd really like you to buy a vacuum cleaner or a few.

Lita: Of course you would. <Lita links her arm with the friendly looking young man's.> You know, Lloyd, I've always said I like a man who knows what he wants...

FLYM: *swallow* Is that so?

<Just then, Evil Mike walks in!>

EM: Hey, Lita, have you seen my underpants? You know, the ones with the stuff on em?

Lita: <stops gazing in the friendly looking young man's eyes for a moment to answer.> I don't know, Evil Mike. Did you look in your dresser?

EM: I looked everywhere!

Lita: In the hamper?

EM: We have a hamper?

Lita: *sigh* On the floor?

EM: They're not on the floor or hanging on any of the furniture. And I already asked Rimmi and she says she didn't steal it for a trophy and that I'm delusional for even asking. You should keep an eye on that lying problem of hers.

Lita: <rolling her eyes> Have you checked to make sure you're not wearing them?

EM: Lita, I'm not that... <He pulls out the waistband of his pants and takes a peek> Oh. Well, I'll be. Thanks!

Lita: No problem. <Lita turns back to the friendly looking young man> So... Lloyd, you were saying?

EM: Heeeyyyy... Lita... Who's that guy?

Lita: Oh, him? This is Lloyd.

EM: Lloyd, huh? <Evil Mike narrows his eyes and walks up to the friendly looking young man> What are you doing cozying up to my girlfriend, <he prods the friendly looking young man roughly in the chest> *Lloyd*?

FLYM: Uh... <His voice cracks with fear> I'm selling these lovely vacuum cleaners?

EM: A likely story.

Lita: Evil Mike, leave him alone!

EM: You watch out for this guy, Lita, he's smooth.

FLYM: *swallow* I promise I'm not.

Lita: He's telling the truth, Evil Mike, he's not at all smooth. I've had to do all the work.

EM: <Gripping the friendly looking young man menacingly by the collar> Don't defend him, Lita. I don't blame you. You don't have the strength to resist his charms.

Lita: I do so have plenty of strength to resist his charms!

EM: <Letting go of the friendly looking young man and whirling around on Lita> Well then why the hell didn't you?? <The friendly looking young man takes this chance to run out the door>

Lita: Er... Uh... that's a very good question... And of course I have a very good answer...

EM: Yes?

Lita: Uh... Well you see...

EM: I get it. You're getting back at me for taking the boys out to pick up chicks the other night!

Lita: Huh? ...Oh! I mean... Yeah! Of course!

EM: You were trying to make me see how it feels!

Lita: Yes! Empathy! That's what you need! Because I was hurting!

EM: You were trying to make me jealous!

Lita: Yes! Cruel emotional manipulation is what I'm all about! And I can see it sure worked! I hope you learned your lesson!

EM: I'm still gonna kick Lloyd's ass, <Evil Mike turns to walk out the door after the friendly looking young man but Lita grabs him by the sleeve.>

Lita: hey, I don't think there's any need for that. We've all learned our lesson.

EM: He hasn't.

Lita: Oh, I think he has.

~~~~~~~

<The friendly looking young man is running down the road. He throws his briefcase in a ditch. He pulls his tie off and throws that away too.>

FLYM: What a bunch of psychos! This stupid job just isn't worth it!

~~~~~~~

Lita: And look, Evil Mike! We got a free vacuum cleaner out of the deal! <She poins at the model that the friendly looking young man left on the floor>

EM: I'm not vacuuming.

Lita: That's ok, me neither. We'll get Tork to do it. He seemed to really like this vacuum cleaner.

EM: So do you want to go get a cup of coffee?

Lita: Not really.

EM: Ok. So let's just go to your room and make out then.

Lita: <considers it for a moment> Ok.

Lita
Queen Bitch
President of the I Hate Riddler Club
Vice Prez of the Draco Malfoy Fan Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Dawn Club
Vice Prez of the I Hate Spekkio Club
Green Light
Not that there's much to expand on here. :)

Next up: Attack of a fish from hell

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